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  • Writer's pictureMonica Montanari

Let's Be Real (But, Like, Actually)

I feel like we're entering a nightmare.

It's everywhere you turn: some new mom posts a picture of the one second her screaming, demonic two-year-old is smiling (#mommyslittleangel). Some celebrity posts a "no makeup selfie" after spending at least twenty minutes on picking out a filter and putting on concealer ("that doesn't count as 'makeup', right?"). Your classmate from high school must've wished on the right star, because her butt magically grew seven sizes overnight ("it's FitTea I swear! Use my discount code!"). One of Kendrick Lamar's newest tracks off his album centers around this idea- and it's amazing (watch below).

Hey- don't get me wrong. I don't show my personality all the time- you're welcome for saving you the drama. I only step out of my house without makeup when I'm not going to see anybody that day (which is, of course, when I see my ex). Victoria's Secret has done me more favors than I'd like to admit, and my tan is something I perform routine maintenance on- even though it's meant to look like I just it effortlessly from my yacht vacation in Fiji. I bite my nails like a mofo- you should see me without the acrylics

But, here's the thing,

why can't we just admit it?

We live in a world where- being real witchu- we're all trying to seem perfect. As if God had favor over some of us, who are just #blessed. There's nothing wrong with wanting to enhance your natural beauty with some makeup- or investing a little money in some silicone or injections to boost your confidence (and collagen). Preferably within reason, cat woman (but hey, you do you). Sure, it's more expensive, but it doesn't make you less valuable as a human being because you weren't born with something someone else had at birth. Some people are born loving their bodies (a small percentage), and others have to pay to get there (the vast majority). Every single person on this earth is born with at least one self-esteem issue with their body. My point is: who cares?


We all do it. Tell me you've never contoured your curves with a little bronzer, or penciled in where your eyebrows were sparse, and I'll call BS. I mean, hey, if you've ever covered up a zit, technically you're being fake- so don't pretend to be better than someone just because you're better at faking it. ​

There's this new self love movement gaining momentum- and it's dope. But here's the problem- to promote natural self love is to say that people who wanted a little extra help from photoshop are worth less than those who were "born with it" and chose to accept it. Don't get me wrong- accepting yourself as AWESOME for the way you were born is just that- awesome. But why is it so hard to just be authentic and honest with other people, too? They had other, or the same, issues- and the more you market yourself as the perfect human being, the shittier they feel.

Maybe you're trying to prove to all those haters from middle school how much better you are. But even then, you give in to exactly what they wanted: for you to become someone that you aren't just to make them shut up. To become an arrogant, shallow, basic human being. If you want to change something about yourself, do it for you. Not anybody else.

The point is, it's exhausting trying to live in a world where we're all expected to look perfect and have perfect lives- when really,

not a single one of us does.

The point is, it's exhausting trying to live in a world where we're all expected to look perfect and have perfect lives- when really, who the f**k cares. If you spend your time comparing your natural beauty to someone else's not-so-natural beauty, you'll spend all of your time being miserable.


When you get real with your looks, or personality, or attitude, or whatever it is that you bring to the table, you show other people that it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to do things to make yourself feel better- and it doesn't make you less of a badass to admit that you're human. In my opinion (and many others'), it makes you way more brave.

Imperfection is the only form of freedom we have left.

It's the only way we can break away from the mold. And admitting by embracing that you aren't (or weren't) perfect is beyond liberating. Being perfect doesn't inspire others. It makes you basic (which is just about the worst insult I can give you). It's how you deal with and/or embrace your imperfections that inspires people. And whether = your idea of dealing with your imperfections is erasing them or embracing them, whatever.

This is the whole idea behind my newest site. It's a place where, along with all of my other blog posts (compiled into one site), I get to be real with you. We get to journey through this crazy, beautiful, and sometimes really lame thing called life- and hopefully in my journey, you too will be inspired to be the most authentic version of yourself and start enjoying living more. It's the press for everything Monica-related, and I cant wait to see what you think.

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