• Monica Montanari

RE: Alabama Football Games Aren't Fun Anymore


Read the original article here.

Alright, honey.

Let's talk about #4. Girls don't know football? NEITHER DO THE MAJORITY OF MEN. And they're going to be the ones yelling at Saban like they have any clue WTF "offense" is. So let's not be f**king sexist here. If you don't like explaining it to the chicks around you, it's probably because you have a bunch of shallow friends who you have absolutely nothing in common with except three letters and an absolutely horrific house picture.

3. Watching the Crimson Tide play is something most people will never get to do in their lives. Moreover, if you aren't a student (and even if you are), you're looking at a MINIMUM of $300 just to get in most games. I don't blame them, let them document the whole damn thing. Get their money's worth. I'm willing to throw down money right now that you're one of those people who'd rather stare at your phone than have a conversation. It would just be nice if you would do it in silence.

2. Don't wear heels. Sorry, honey- saying women don't know anything about football, but admitting you spend the whole week more focused on your outfit than the opponent? Neither do you. Literally NOBODY cares what you're wearing. If you want pictures, bring a change of clothes and shoes, or just wear comfortable shoes and take photos from the knees up. You don't need your degree to figure that one out.

1. Yeah. We do. And if you have a problem with it, you're welcome to go somewhere else. I hear Auburn is nice this time of year.

YOU are literally the annoying part of Bama games. So shut your mouth and enjoy your last year at Bama. Every beer-soaked, sunburnt, obnoxious moment of it; because you're never going to get it back. And when you look back, you'll wish you'd spent a little less time b*tching.